I have been having a heck of time. Life has been… hard.
I can admit that I have been struggling with anxiety over worldly concerns.
Today, as I drove my almost-8-year-old son, AJ, to church for our Youth Sunday rehearsal, he said to me, “my friend has some burdens.” I asked what he meant, and he shared that his friend’s father passed away very recently and the loss is a burden to his friend. We talked about spiritual and emotional burdens. Then AJ said, “I’ve had some burdens, but I let God lift them.”
Tears filled my eyes.
I asked him if he wanted to talk more about that. He shared with me that losing family members (from all sides of his family, as he has my and my husband’s families as well as his biological father’s family) was emotional for him, but he trusted God with his feelings, and he feels better.
“AJ,” I said from the front seat, trying not to choke on my unshed tears, “that’s called a testimony. When we share how God has been good to us, that’s our testimony.”
Then, we got to church. In our student center, he played the song he’ll play on Sunday for the offertory music. “Jesus Loves Me” on the keyboard, the sound bouncing off of the cinderblock walls. The teen youth members clapped enthusiastically for him – “whoa, good job, AJ!” He beamed with pride. I felt it tug at my heartstrings, too.
After that, I thought maybe he should practice on the piano in the sanctuary so he feels more comfortable before Sunday. Our music director – and my friend – offered to let a few members of the choir stay so he could practice being in front of an audience.
Everyone at choir rehearsal stayed, clapped when he finished the last note, and then one sweet lady – who embodies what it means to be “church family” – asked him, “can you play and let us sing along?”
The church felt FULL – full of steady little fingers on the keys, full of adult voices singing a song they’d known their whole lives, full of love.
It took everything for me not to cry. (Don’t worry, I’m sure to cry on Sunday morning when the pews are full.)
When we left the building, AJ said, “one day I’m going to do that for my job!”
He’s caught the bug. Cooperative music. Communal worship.
My anxieties seemed small.
Through the testimony of a little boy in the backseat, and through the sound of a choir who loved a tiny little learning pianist, I was reminded today that the little bits of hell that creep into daily life haven’t got a single thing on the big God that we serve.
Jesus loves me, this I know.
I’ve got burdens, but God can lift them.
Kate with a Twang 