Silver Linings & HTTR

This round-faced, Redskins-cheering toddler is me, over 30 years ago. (How’s that for a #TBT?)

When I look at this photo, I can see little resemblances to all three of my sons. I can see resemblances to both of my parents.

What I think I’m most grateful for right now, though, is a resemblance to ME, as I am right now.

If you’ve been following me on social media, have read any of my blogposts, or know me in person, then it’s no surprise to you that I have been through some STUFF. The loss of dear family members. The ending of a marriage that felt like it very nearly broke me. Changes in career that shattered my Type-A plans. An eating disorder that rocked my self-image. Postpartum depression and anxiety that made me re-evaluate my health and my relationships. And that’s just naming a few of the biggest hurdles.

There have also been moments of unparalleled joy in my journey. The births of all three of my children. The reuniting with and eventual marriage to my best friend. Graduations. Buying & remodeling our home. Answering a calling to ministry (this is a work in progress but a joy nonetheless).

My husband calls me “Silver Linings Kate” sometimes – because I have a tendency to always try to point out something positive when we’re in the throes of something difficult or frustrating. I can’t help it; the little girl in this picture was a 90s Redskins fan, okay?! She needed silver linings! (Just kidding, @commanders, still rooting for you! See photo 2 for the proof that my household still HTTR/HTTC!)

This little girl had big dreams, and not just for her family’s favorite football team. And while not every dream has a checkmark next to it – and while some dreams got crossed out and tried again later – I think THIS little girl would be pretty proud of the Silver Linings Kate of adulthood.

The hard stuff built a resilience in me that I don’t take for granted. And no matter what comes next, I promise this little girl of 30+ years ago that we’ll face it head on, eyes peeled for the bits of goodness, and a Washington shirt on to tackle it all.

Thoughts on the Path Straightener

Proverbs 3:5 is one of the most famous verses in the Bible’s wisdom books. You might even be able to recite it by memory. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.” (NRSVUE) 

But it’s the next verse we might need to pray on and consider. Verse 6 says, “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” 

Acknowledge God for WHO HE IS – Creator, Savior, Sustainer – and “He will make straight your paths.” Scripture doesn’t say He’ll get rid of your journey or shorten the road. It doesn’t say you’ll arrive at your destination immediately or without the necessary travel. It says He will straighten the path – that He’ll organize it or order it for its kingdom purpose when we recognize His authority over it and over us. He’s directing us – but the journey is still a part of our story and – if we let it – will be a part of our testimony. 

How do we acknowledge Him? Well verse 7 gives us an answer, too. “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil.” 

How do we acknowledge Him? Know that He is God, He is omnipotent, and He is the clearer of paths and the author of life. Know that His wisdom exceeds your wisdom – that spiritual wisdom is of Heaven, not of humankind – and respect that wisdom. Know it & claim it. Live it. Turn toward God’s goodness. 

God’s wisdom > my insight 

Handprint Flowers 

It’s summer, which means kids are home and work hours shift. (At least, that’s what it means for us, when our boys span the ages of 2-8, and I work both in church ministry and as Parents Day Out director.) 

My job is on-site during the school year, but is partially remote in summer and on breaks. This helps a lot with adjusting for childcare needs when schools and PDO are out of session. I’m thankful. And it’s still hard. This is one of those moments when two things can be true at once. 

We’re trying our best to achieve both a relaxed summer and still maintain some semblance of a routine so that our kids aren’t thrown so far out of whack when the school year starts back in August. 

One part of the routine we’re working to maintain is “table-time.” For our 8-year-old, that looks like a math sheet reviewing some of last year’s skills each morning, a daily creative project (coloring, painting, sketching, Legos, etc), and piano practice at least once a day. For our 2 and 3 year olds, that looks like a skills-based developmental activity (think shape sorting, color sorting, chunky puzzles) and a worksheet each day (“worksheet” is a loose term here, referencing a dot marker sheet, line tracing sheet, or coloring page). 

It’s honestly a little bit of a struggle. I can admit it: we’re making it, but it’s not grumbling-free – for the kiddos or for us as parents. 

Today, though, we got line-tracing pages and math worksheets done a little quicker than the rest of the week, so I decided to add in a more fun-focused craft for the day, too. 

We made simple handprint flowers! 

Even my middle child, who resists the feel of paint often, was excited about this today and participated in many of the steps. (It could be because I showed him we’d use the stapler and he’d been wondering what that red thing did for a while.)

You’ve seen this on Pinterest before and it’s not a new idea by any stretch. But in case it’d gotten lost in the recesses of your mind, I wanted to share our morning craft with you. 

We used a green marker, black marker, thick popsicle stick, purple construction paper, pink paint and a brush, scissors and a stapler. 

I got the boys to color their popsicle sticks with a green marker. The younger two scribbled with their green markers, and I went over it to color it more completely. 

Then I painted their left hands pink and pressed a print to the purple construction paper. (If you have a sensory-sensitive kiddo, like one of mine, the trick is cleaning their hand immediately after. That has helped us so very much! Also, me doing a sample first and showing the boys each step seems to help my middle know what to expect.) 

Once each pink print was mostly dry, I cut them out – I did this part because scissor control is not a highly accomplished skill yet. When I cut them out, I tried to think about the top of a cartoon tulip – sort of pointed but rounded, if that makes sense, and that’s what I wanted their fingers to resemble (vaguely). 

I added their names to the center of the handprint flower, and marked the month and year on the back of each popsicle stick. 

Then they got to use the stapler with Mommy! We stapled the stem to the flower with the flower on front and the green facing forward. 

We could have glued, probably, but I know my kids and they wanted to carry them around to show Da-Da, and glue would have zero chance to dry in our house. Plus, they have been checking out the stapler when I work remote. So the stapler it was! 

These really did turn out super cute, and they were very proud of their flowers. Teddy in particular – even though he usually resists artwork and work at the table – was very cute, waving his flower and mine up and down the hall, saying “Ted-Ted’s! Mommy’s!” over and over. 

If you’re looking for an easy, classic summer craft, maybe this will job your memory and inspire you at your kitchen table. 

Happy summer crafting, y’all! 

Piano Keys & Testimony  

I have been having a heck of time. Life has been… hard. 

I can admit that I have been struggling with anxiety over worldly concerns. 

Today, as I drove my almost-8-year-old son, AJ, to church for our Youth Sunday rehearsal, he said to me, “my friend has some burdens.” I asked what he meant, and he shared that his friend’s father passed away very recently and the loss is a burden to his friend. We talked about spiritual and emotional burdens. Then AJ said, “I’ve had some burdens, but I let God lift them.” 

Tears filled my eyes. 

I asked him if he wanted to talk more about that. He shared with me that losing family members (from all sides of his family, as he has my and my husband’s families as well as his biological father’s family) was emotional for him, but he trusted God with his feelings, and he feels better. 

“AJ,” I said from the front seat, trying not to choke on my unshed tears, “that’s called a testimony. When we share how God has been good to us, that’s our testimony.” 

Then, we got to church. In our student center, he played the song he’ll play on Sunday for the offertory music. “Jesus Loves Me” on the keyboard, the sound bouncing off of the cinderblock walls. The teen youth members clapped enthusiastically for him – “whoa, good job, AJ!” He beamed with pride. I felt it tug at my heartstrings, too. 

After that, I thought maybe he should practice on the piano in the sanctuary so he feels more comfortable before Sunday. Our music director – and my friend – offered to let a few members of the choir stay so he could practice being in front of an audience. 

Everyone at choir rehearsal stayed, clapped when he finished the last note, and then one sweet lady – who embodies what it means to be “church family” – asked him, “can you play and let us sing along?” 

The church felt FULL – full of steady little fingers on the keys, full of adult voices singing a song they’d known their whole lives, full of love. 

It took everything for me not to cry. (Don’t worry, I’m sure to cry on Sunday morning when the pews are full.) 

When we left the building, AJ said, “one day I’m going to do that for my job!” 

He’s caught the bug. Cooperative music. Communal worship. 

My anxieties seemed small. 

Through the testimony of a little boy in the backseat, and through the sound of a choir who loved a tiny little learning pianist, I was reminded today that the little bits of hell that creep into daily life haven’t got a single thing on the big God that we serve. 

Jesus loves me, this I know. 

I’ve got burdens, but God can lift them. 

A Good Friday Reflection 

If you know me personally, you might know that I am a denominational mutt when it comes to religion. My extended family roots are found in Catholicism, I was baptized and am currently a Methodist, my husband considered himself Lutheran until he joined our Methodist church, and I went to a Baptist college for undergrad. I have great respect for each of these Christian traditions, and for many, many more denominations. 

As a junior high student – before I moved to TN and before I was baptized or a church member – I remember hearing someone in my gym class say, “Man, Catholics are SO weird. They keep Jesus on the cross, but everyone knows he’s not there anymore. The grave was empty on Easter.” And, though I didn’t understand why, that comment did NOT sit right with my spirit. 

Now, as an active believer and a teacher of the Word, I know why it didn’t sit right and still doesn’t. 

YES – Jesus is off of the cross and out of the tomb – and PRAISE GOD for that! 

BUT, Jesus WAS nailed to the cross. He died a human death by crucifixion. He wore a crown of thorns, withstood the beating and flogging, and suffered the nails and the asphyxiation that accompanied crucifixion. He bled from his side, and He was closed in the tomb. 

An empty tomb is just an empty room if we don’t have the crucifixion. 

Without the suffering of the Messiah, we do not receive pardon for sin. Without the suffering, without the death, there is no atonement for our unrighteousness. 

Without Christ on the cross, our sins are still stains – not made white as snow – and our eternity is still dark. 

Christ WAS on the cross, and sometimes we need to remember that.

Years ago, when I was in a season of struggling, I realized I needed to remember Christ on the cross. I called my dad and asked for a crucifix – surely his Catholic family had one to spare.  They did – I was gifted the crucifix from my great grandfather’s funeral. And I hung it in my living room by my door, so that every day as I left my home in the morning, I remembered the sacrifice. And I remembered the love that comes from such sacrifice. 

That’s what Good Friday is… a reminder that Christ WAS on the cross – that He willingly died an excruciating death because of His great love for God’s creation. 

Yes, very soon we celebrate an empty tomb and a Risen Savior. But for now, on Good Friday and Holy Saturday, we sit in silence, pondering the sacrificial love and the suffering of the Messiah. 

There’s something holy about the sacrifice. 

There’s something holy about the silence.

And it all leads to salvation. 

Praise God for the hard gift of sacrifice, pain, and reconciliation. 

Resurrection is coming. 

Racism, a Reflection 

Another non-homemaker, non-parenting post, I know. Unusual, but these are unusual times. And I feel called to use any platform I have – no matter how small – to speak truth.

This reflection comes after seeing the horrendous social media post that President Trump made, featuring a variety of democrats as animals, including Former President Barack Obama and Former First Lady Michelle Obama being depicted as apes. As American history tells us, this is blatantly offensive and racist. 

My stomach turned when I saw the post. I have prayed, I have turned to scripture, and I have felt a righteous anger stir within me. 

These are my thoughts and reflections in that wake of that horrendous post…

Reflection

“Racism springs from the lie that certain human beings are less than fully human. It’s a self-centered falsehood that corrupts our minds into believing we are right to treat others as we would not want to be treated.” – Alveda King 

Luke 6:31: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” – Jesus 

Luke 10:27: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” – Jesus 

To my friends of color: I am so sorry that we keep sliding backwards instead of pushing forward. There is no excuse for the inaccurate, hurtful, offensive, unjust, unkind mentality of so many of our neighbors and leaders. They are wrong. You are an image-bearer, made by the hands of God. And you deserve the same access to respect and dignity as any other and all other human beings, no exception. 

To my white friends: We must demand better for our fellow man and woman. We must not be silent in the face of discrimination, bigotry, and hatred. We must insist that all people are treated with dignity and respect, and we must not waiver in expecting equality for our neighbors in a nation that was once lovingly called “a melting pot.” 

To American political leaders, including the President and those who defend him:  You cannot invoke the name of God in the hopes of gaining political support one minute, and then turn around and demean people the next. It is despicable. It is unjust. It is unChristlike. 

Go and Have Mercy

Bear with me today, friends. In the midst of shootings and violence by ICE – that would not be forgiven or forgotten if conducted by traditional police forces – in our nation, I find myself in a period of reflection, prayer, and Biblical reading. I am seeking God’s face and His conviction for myself and for fellow believers.

This post is the result of that reflective time. I’m not sure what this is – a sermon outline, a mediation, a mess of theological thought… but I offer it to you the way it was offered to me: messy, but full of the Spirit and full of grieving and outcry and conviction and, yes, even – thankfully – grace.

“Go and Have Mercy”

Luke 10: 25-37 (NIV)

Excerpt from Luke 10 (but you should go read the full parable):

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

Reading Between the Lines:

“Which of these was a neighbor?” 

“The one who showed mercy and compassion; the one I didn’t want to be the hero of your parable, because he and I disagree on religious, political, and social traditions, and because we belong to different groups.” 

“Go and do as he did, he who you believe is unlike you.” 

The Takeaway:

Christlike character is not proven by our uniform or position, nor by our memberships to organizations or citizenships to countries. 

Christlike character is proven by our compassion and our faith in action.  

Do the words of your lips match the movement of your hands? Do the words of your Bible sit on a dusty shelf, or come alive in the movements of your body each day? 

Quotations for Further Reflection:

“It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.” – St. Francis of Assisi

“There are two things to do about the Gospel – believe it and behave it.” – Susanna Wesley

“Let me not only be called a Christian, but prove to be one.” – St. Ignatius of Antioch

“Actions speak louder than words; let your words teach and your actions speak.” – St. Anthony of Padua

“While you are proclaiming peace with your lips, be careful to have it even more fully in your heart.” – St. Francis of Assisi 

Extra – A Blessing

Today I bought my kids new shoes – not because they needed them, but because I wanted to and I know they’ll get used. 

A few years back, I was single-momming it with my little AJ. A single mom, working two jobs, and still sort of struggling. AJ had absolutely everything he needed (because single mom magic is real), including at least two pairs of shoes in his size always – but buying extra wasn’t a luxury I had. Extras came from gifts from loved ones. 

But today I bought all three of my boys EXTRA. Just because… Because they’d like them. Because they could make good use of them. 

They’re not fancy – they’re Walmart shoes – but they’re certainly EXTRA. 

When we put our Walmart bags in the car, I  looked at my husband and said, “buying just-because shoes for our kids makes me feel like I hit a mom goal.” He just smiled at me and said “I know.” 

Admittedly, in this economy, everybody is still struggling. It’s not easy. But with a partner who prioritizes the same things as me, and with a lot of time and hard work, today was an EXTRA kind of day. And this evening, each of my boys has a new pair of shoes – just because – at the foot of their beds. 

My heart feels full. (It really is the little things that aren’t so little at all.) 

A Gift in Memory

Last night, I was given the most thoughtful gift I have received in quite some time.

Before I assisted with our Blue Christmas worship service (meant for those grieving through the holidays) at the church I serve, a member of our grief group ran up to me. She handed me a clear bag with a green sweatshirt in it and said in a hurry, “this isn’t a Christmas gift – this is in memory of your cousin. Some of the proceeds go to suicide prevention, and I wanted you to have it.”

The tears pricked my eyes instantly.

I lead our grief group because this special friend, Wayna, is a widow and asked me if we offered anything at the church for those experiencing loss. Together, we got the ball rolling on a grief group. And as she grieves her husband, I grieve my cousin, Rachel, who ended her life too soon.

This is an extremely thoughtful, generous gift. I held the bag to my chest as I hugged her. For one of the few times in my life, I felt speechless.

When you lose someone you love to suicide, you can’t help but wonder what you could have done to help – how you could have loved harder, been more available… the list goes on and on. I have struggled with my grief, which is not unusual, but I have had the unique and immense privilege of walking through grief with some of the most wonderful people who have supported me as I have sought to support them in their own loss journeys, too. 

Thank you to my friend, Wayna, for the gift. Thank you for knowing my heart and walking alongside me through grief. I treasure your friendship and this precious gift. 

Cut-Corners Swedish Meatballs

While it may only be the second week of November, and while that may not usually be the traditional winter-weather season of East Tennessee, yesterday we had snowfall. 

My sweet boys were absolutely enthralled by the snow. Here’s a sweet photo of Teddy (age 3) watching the snow come down through our back door onto our porch.  

Needless to say, it’s quickly become the season for layers, sweatshirts, and fleece jackets. And when it’s cold, I crave a warm, filling meal for dinner. (Luckily, my husband keeps up really well with the weather, so I usually have a heads up on when to buy hearty foods for cold snaps. So I was prepared for this week!) 

Last night, I made the absolute easiest warm and cozy meal: Cut-Corners Swedish Meatballs! 

I love traditional Swedish meatballs, homemade, with hand-rolled meatballs, lots of extra seasonings, and a thick and creamy gravy sauce. But homemade meatballs are a weekend food in our two-income home, a luxury for calendar days that might not require dinner in a half hour. 

And so what’s a girl to do when she’s got a half hour to make it? 

Cue my Cut-Corners Swedish Meatballs recipe! This is designed to be easy, filling, and yummy – for a busy momma hen, wife, and/or working professional. 

Here’s the fastest way to a simple – but yummy – Swedish meatball recipe! 

Ingredients: 

  • Frozen precooked beef meatballs (1/2 to 2/3 of the package) 
  • 2 packets of brown gravy mix 
  • Egg noodles (1/2 to 2/3 of the package)
  • Garlic powder 
  • Black pepper 

First, arrange your meatballs in a baking pan and cook in the oven, per the instructions on the package.

Next, while the meatballs heat fully in the oven, boil water. Once boiling, add in your egg noodles and cook until tender. Then drain the pasta. 

Then, make your two gravy packets per provided package instruction. Once it’s to the preferred thickness, add in some garlic powder and black pepper – to your preferred taste. 

To assemble, simply layer in a dish or bowl the following: egg noodles, meatballs, and gravy. 

Side note: I chose to also serve Italian seasoned green beans with my dish. (These are easy, too – canned green beans, heated in oil, garlic powder, and Italian seasonings.) This addition is, frankly, because I am a toddler mom and ant to at least offer a vegetable with each meal (not that they always choose to partake in it). 

This was so good – my husband and I both enjoyed it – and it definitely gave us that full-in-the-belly and warm-from-the-inside feeling we were craving with the cold weather! 

What’re your favorite go-to cold weather meals? Comment below – and bonus points if they are MEGA easy for folks with a jam-packed calendar!