This one is for all of my Christian momma hen friends out there.
Those of you who attend church regularly and have a little one (or multiple little ones) know that church is an entirely different experience when you’re on your own versus when you have a child to tend to. I’m not complaining – there is something profoundly spiritual and special about attending worship with your child(ren), and I fully adhere to the belief that the most important thing you contribute to the world and to the Kingdom of Heaven is the faith of your family. But let’s be real for a moment – parenting in the pew is hard.
Before the pandemic struck and altered the church experience signficiantly, I was attending church (and serving, since I am the Youth Director) every weekend and every Wednesday. On the weekends that my son did not spend with his father, he attended with me. While he was absolutely a quintessential toddler in the pews, he behaved fairly well overall. There were lots of snacks and board books, but he danced to the music (even tried to sing some) and he said his own sweet little “amem” (the cutest attempt at “amen” that is still how he says it today) at the end of prayers. He often said “amem” REALLY loud, and the congregation members that attend our “early service” (which also serves as our more contemporary service with more modern music and a more casual feel) loved it. While I taught the big kids Sunday school, he played with one or two other toddlers in the nursery just a few steps away, and he loved it.
When COVID-19 caused a state-mandated shut down in spring of 2020, church went virtual. (And, let me just take up some space here to say that my church really did a stand up job of trying to adapt – we already had Facebook streaming set up, but our music minister went out of his way to make sure we added a YouTube channel and increased our virtually-friendly efforts and still had dynamic worship experiences – so appreciative of his leadership in weird times and for all of the people that participated in making that a workable solution.)
My church is a part of the Holston Conference of the United Methodist Church, and we were closed down for a lot longer than just the state mandate; our Bishop and Cabinet wanted to monitor cases and provide a framework for safe regathering at our churches in the conference. (Again, appreciative of their hard work to come up with safe ways for worship!)
When we finally went back to some in-person worship in summer 2020, we were on a hybrid model that we’re still using for worship now – in person with masks and distancing, online streaming on Facebook, and recorded services on YoutTube.
Up until this weekend, I hadn’t taken my son back for in-person. When case numbers were so high and things were so uncertain, it didn’t feel wise to expose him any extra (we still limit going into stores and my two-year-old wears a mask when we do because better safe than sorry). Instead, I had church family members substitute teach for Sunday School lessons on my parenting weekends, and we watched virtually.
On Ash Wednesday, my church held a virtual-only service, and I watched with my kiddo. He looked up at me and said, “That’s church! Take me there. Take me there, Mom-Mom, please.” My heart was straight-up goo.
So I can’t resist a kid getting excited about the Lord. (I guess it’s the youth leader in me.) I promised him that on my next weekend with him, we’d go back. I decided we’d sit in our socially-distant pew during service (masks on, too!) and to take him to Sunday School with me to continue limiting exposure – he sat at my desk which I disinfect after every youth lesson, well over six feet away from anyone other than me, and kept his mask on the entire time.
But I was anxious. I know how challenging it could be to manage him in the pew last year when we were attending regularly and he was in the habit. Now, he’s even MORE verbal, MORE active, and totally OUT of the habit of sitting still during worship. I was so nervous, y’all.
I’m very blessed to have a church family that loves me and my son – that has truly been supportive throughout the challenges of divorce and parenting solo and that absolutely adore my son and get excited to see him – so that helped a LOT in easing my nerves at a church return. It also helps that our early service really is casual in nature – I feel much more at ease if he rolls on the floor in the pews (ugh yes it happens) during that service than I would during our traditional service.
I remembered, too, that I gave some advice to a youth student a few years ago that would be helpful to me with parenting my son in the pew. The youth student confessed that he liked worship for the music, but had a hard time focusing for the length of the sermon. At the time, I encouraged the student in two ways: 1) it is okay to get more spiritual connection with God during prayer or music in service than in the sermon because at least you ARE connecting with God in worship, and 2) do something else during the sermon time – take notes that help you focus on the message, or keep reading that same chapter of scripture yourself during that time – God will bless your focus on HIM, no matter what form that takes.
It hit me that maybe I should give my little one something ELSE God-related to do in the pew during sermon time. I know Dollar Tree has some faith-based word searches, because I’ve bought them before for youth prizes, but I wondered if I’d find any coloring books for toddlers or small children that might occupy my son during service.
Y’all, Dollar Tree had SO MUCH STUFF! I was floored. Here’s my haul – and then I’ll tell you a little more about each.
So the thing I really wanted was a coloring book. He’s so proud of knowing his colors and can focus on art for a fairly decent amount of time for his age, so I knew if they had a coloring book, it’d be a win. They had some really good ones by Dreamtivity, in their coloring line called Colortivity. I chose this one and a pack of jumbo crayons (which, for some reason I have always called “fat crayons” – yikes).
While I was there, I found SO MANY more things that are faith-based and perfect for parenting in the pew. I bought six books that are age appropriate for my almost three-year-old.
They have these sweet little hardback, glossy-paper paged books by Little Benton Books that are full of bright illustrations – I grabbed a copy of Noah’s Ark and God’s Creation. These are a little wordy, so they’d also be good for elementary schoolers.
Dollar Tree also has a GREAT selection of board books by The Clever Factory! I grabbed a traditional kid’s board book about Joseph and the coat of many colors, and then three of their pop-out board books. The pop-outs I grabbed were about David, Moses, and Joshua. These are all traditional board books, so they’re perfect for toddler age.
Finally, my little one has arrived at the sticker age – so I couldn’t resist these sticker books about Jonah and Noah! They have over 80 stickers in each, and they have activities like sticker scenes, coloring pages, mazes, word scrabbles, and word searches. While a lot of those activities are a little too advanced for a toddler, there are activities for kids of all ages inside and these might even be good for elementary-aged kids.
These products are SO cool and are truly perfect for teaching your children about God at home or, like I am using them now, as a sermon activity. (And, if you have older kids that are readjusting to sitting through service as the COVID vaccines are released and it’s become safer to worship, I suggest looking at the Bible activity books, devotions, or word searches that the Dollar Tree has for them, too. The Chicken Soup for the Soul devotions and word searches are faith-friendly, too!)
I’ll be honest – the coloring book did NOT solve the issue. My son is not quite three – he is NOT going to be a perfect angel in service, no matter what preparation measures I take. That’s just the reality. At one point during this Sunday’s service, while our pastor was preaching, I had to tell him he couldn’t run in the pew, and he said, super loudly, “YOU don’t tell ME ‘no!’” YIKES. Talk about embarrassing. But that stuff is going to happen – that’s life. Jesus meets us where we are, not expecting perfection – and my son is at the age where he doesn’t want to be told ‘no’ and, yes, he came to worship with that attitude.
But you know what? He loved the music (every time a song ended, he said “oh no, the music stopped”) and he folded his hands nearly every time we prayed – even, sometimes, whispering over and over “dear God, kank you, amem.” And if that doesn’t remind me that having him in church and talking about faith at home is totally and always worth it, I don’t know what will.
It was admittedly very hard to focus on my own worship while I was parenting (and wrestling) him in the pew – but parenting is a huge part of my relationship with God, in becoming who he calls me to be. So teaching my son how to behave and focus on God in church is, in itself, an act of worship.
But yes, the coloring book helped. There was a whole point of the sermon I was able to listen to without stress, and we’ll call that a win.
What tips and tricks do you have for parenting during worship or keeping your little ones busy while also feeding their faith? Comment below – I’m open to all the tips and tricks and product recs you have!